Оригинал:
Jeff Dunham & Peanutангл.скриптJeff: And now, The Night Before Chirstmas.
Peanut: This would be a good time for the muslims to go to the bathroom...
J: Twas...
P: HOLD IT!
J: WHAT?!
P: Who the he** says twas?
J: Its in the story!
P: Well its old and stupid!
J: Its tradition!
P: ...tis it?
J: Twas the night before christmas and all through the house...
P: Why is it always a house...
J: What?
P: There are kids who live in apartments...how do Santa Claus get to the kids in the apartments Uncle Jeffy?...
He has to buzz his a** in
*makes buzzer sound* Santa Claus...~
J: And all through the apartments not a creature was stirring...
P: Except for the a**holes in 2B...theyre drunk and hitting each other with manores...oy vey...thats jewish for holy sh**...
J: ...Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
P: Mouse? YOU WISH! YOUR IN AN IMPARTMENT! THATS A RAT!
J: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
P: And believe me the room could use some fresh air...seriously how the he** did that tradition start?
J: What?
P: Hanging up dirty landry and hoping Santa will fill it with goodies YUCK!
I'd like to suck on this candycane but it smells like dads feet!
J: YOU ARE RUINING THIS STORY!
P: Isn't this the part where the kids are sleeping with sugarplums dancing in their heads? What does that mean? I think they're huliucinating, these apartment children are on drugs...Santa's gonna bring me a GIJOE and a bong...
J: With momma in her cercif and me in my cap, we had both settled down
P: FOR A BIG SNORT OF CRACK!...aww...guitar guy your in the story too...
Look, you have to get to the part where Santa gets busted for breaking and entering, where the he** is that...
J: ITS NOT BREAKING AND ENTERING!
P: Oh, keep reading i think it qualifies...
J: As i drew in my head was turning around, down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound
P: He fell down?
J: ...Yes
P: And doesnt say his face was red?
J: Yeah
P: WHY DOES NO ONE SEE THIS! THIS GUY IS DRUNK OFF HIS A**! This is a horrible, horrible story.
J: He was dressed all in fur to his foot, and his clothes were all covered in ashes and soot
P: Fat, drinking and driving,
wearing a furry gay outfit,
covered in soot and smoking, and YOU let him in the house because he said he had something for your kids...
WHAT THE HE** KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU ANYWAY!
If i were you I'd check his ID then tazer his fat a**! How fat is this guy anyway, everyone is always leaving him plates of cookies, I bet he's a diabetic too, dont you think?
Can't wait to hear this story next year, The Night Before Christmas Part II, Santa is on dialysis and he's missing a leg...and all his little dollys have poloyosis...
J: CAN I FINISH THIS STORY?!
P: Oh please do...
J: He spang to his sleigh and to his team gave whistle
P: Got to go quick cause there's a cop with a pistol...
J: But I heard him exclam as he drive out of sight...
P: Merry Chirstmas too all, oh crap, i ran over your bike.
@темы:
Клип,
Кромешник (Питч Блэк),
Ник Северянин